Even though I sometimes come off as mean and sardonic, I feel like I am one to give a lot of compliments. I just can't help commenting on things I see that I like (or things I see that don't like). But today I realized a compliment I don't give out much. Today, I was so impressed with an acquaintance's ability to socialize.
For me, it's easy to socialize with people who speak English and who are adequately social themselves. But maintaining a conversation with a Thai or Japanese person (my second and third languages) who I just met and who isn't particularly social takes effort. Nevertheless, I always feel a sort of obligation to keep the conversation running and interesting, for both parties. Awkward silences are just too awkward for me, why I am naturally compelled to be the conversation facilitator.
Because I'm like this, I have an uncanny sense for when a pause is coming up. The rhythm of talk just signals me when a topic is ending, and my instincts will then tell me that I need to think of a new and engaging topic - fast! But today, I admit I was a little tired and not feeling particularly social during lunch. And it was in the middle of it when I realized that my acquaintance was the one holding the conservation together. I just had to admire. He was so great at it! He facilitates the way I do (or at least hope I do), directing the conversation to a topic that is authentically intriguing and thus sincerely sustainable. None of that small-talk stuff (i.e. "isn't it hot these days...").
It was a kind of aha moment for me. And I realized the compliment I would offer in the situation was exceptionally meaningful.
No comments:
Post a Comment